pheeeeeew!

ok, does everybody came out from an interview feeling shitty?

This week was crazy! is a 4 days week - new project, work term report due, and interview.

I was stressed to the max! except that Im actually excited about the new project, testing and trying to break the cool new features! :P but somehow logging the first bug didnt make me feel good, im like "already?"

anyway i had an interview yesterday - the one that i ve been longing for all summer, it was a short notice but how long do you need to prepare for an interview? I went in nervous, my hands and feet felt so cold and hot in the face. I dunno how to describe that, but arg, forget it!

later found out that my co worker have the same interview. I have no idea?? but maybe is a good thing, otherwise i would ve been more nervous. She's definitely a strong competitor. and the weird thing is we are pretty close too.

is so frustrating! i want this job so bad......

but hey, is friday! i had submitted my report today, and we are going camping tomorrow - first camp this year! and is Lex first camp too! we gonna take them swimming, hiking, curl up around the bon fire. is just the four of us :)

at this point, i wish we have kids. coz they will be so excited now ")

I dont think im ready to be mom yet. i need to sort myself out first, im my own baby if you know what i mean.

alright, time for "friends" ! have a good weekend y'all!

you dont know any better? neither do I, so stop acting like u know the world

I have a big problem - I cant seem to stop buying wedding dress!

well buying and selling at the same time and try to make some money out of it.... not a bad idea for side income, I mean If you waited for the right timing, you could get designer gowns comes with COA for dirt cheap price and mark it up again.

Lets dream bigger, if I could pick up sewing skill, I could alter at the same time! make sure the dress fits my customer perfectly. ahhh i wish.........

posted two dresses online for sale. Hopefully I ll find some buyers soon!

wedding planning has been smooth so far? except that there are some changes due to in law's request, date, more tables, which all work out well...we complied.
mom is having the tradition mind and she's not happy , i mean not even a phone call from his family. I think that is not so respectful. Is like we are being looked down.

Yesterday b4 we closed the store, there was this slight arguement about how there should be more organization to help the poverty countries - south east Asia. This lady came in and started talking, when she travelled to Thailand, she saw kids were selling water bottle in the middle of heavy traffic

And she was angry that peoples in NORTH AMERICA arent doing anything about it, there werent an organization or movements that are big enough or uncorrupted to do anything to save these poor third world countries. and she was angry at rich peoples, millionaires, billionaires arent doing enough charities to help.

Oh poor south africas, poor south east asias....

but what had she done?


I really cant stand those ang moh that maybe traveled to some so called poverty countries for months and came back as though they had seen the world!!! their ignorance pisses me off!

Oh free tibet! we want world peace! yap yap yap - but honestly what have you done?

such a poser, remind me of miss teen USA south carolina....




I said those nation struggling in third world are survivors, we dont take things for granted, Just because you are so far ahead doesnt give you the power, just because you are educated doesnt meant you know better....Lets all take a step back and look at 100 years back? everybody were uncivilized, 1930s - great depression, north americans were starving! They survived. The moved on..


Just leave us the fuck alone! we can freakin take care of ourselves! We dont need your sympathy...

and do you know IQ test you take online are based on your English vocab? And they think less of peoples who cant speak english well.

I dunno maybe confidence is the power. So if next time you dont knw? just act like you do. that will do it

another depressing post.

went out with A and J for lunch today, after all the bitching and girlie talk, we came to the conversation of being lost, goal searching, or even avoiding...

I admit, i had been avoiding the question myself - is time to really think about what I want.....

Im in denial, im lost, i am lonely, no one could understand that.

lately it has been too many depressing / angry posts. Obviously im going through some tough time - or perhaps i need some hormone shots to booze me up bit.

why dont i feel good about life? i want consistency.

im hurting

yup, is not nessecerily

Kelly and I just had this conversation not too long ago, i dunno if we are aging, or was it the booze eating up our brain cell slowly. I have been really forgetful lately.


not as sharp as I used to be anymore...

had only 3 hours sleep last night, went for an hour run/walk during lunch hour - came back all exhausted. Suppose to make dinner for 9 ppls tonight, I have a feeling im gonna cut myself in the chopping board or burn myself in the stove with the sleepy head.
Thank goodness dad came up with this idea of having a bbq instead - I absolutely love the Idea!

coz there is no way we could fit 9 peoples in our dinner table.

u know one of those old peoples that told you the story over and over again coz they forgotten they had told you b4? I am one of them. so i guess i pissed/ annoyed someone tonight by telling the story again - well actually is not so much about i had forgotten about that.

I felt absolutely embarrassed when she told me off in a unfriendly tone - infront of peoples.

am I being too sensitive to let this bother me the whole night? But i am proud that i tried hard to control and hide it well ..... i ll give the credit to the wine.......

whats this all about?

I tend to get annoyed with the males around me.

some of them is because all he could talk about is "I I I, me me me, myself myself myself" and not so interested of listening to other's story. gets touchy and offended over small little thing.

some of them is because he's full of himself, likes to put others down just to make himself look better. I think the reason is he is being insecure.

some of them is because he thinks you are incapable, all the comments coming from him about you is negative. And he will keep on nagging and nagging this and that you are not doing right. hardly hear any nice things he had to say about you.

some of them is because he's stubborn, everything you said is incorrect, everything you said followed by "but...., or no, or theres a better way"


but all the above have a common issue - they dont realize it, and if you tell them off ( IF YOU ) they will find all the strength in their male power to defend themselves. Ready to put up a good fight to deny.



Actually im more annoyed with myself that i cant put up with that.



just leave me alone...... i honestly just want to be alone.......im depressed again

one word - FUN!

havent had such a fun weekend in a long time!

irish beer, irish music, big ass nachos, company of good friends

Jenene just recently moved to town from Toronto.

Utsaf just visiting town for the weekend from vancouver

After two pitchers, we realized : why not just hang out at jame's newly built private bar. So we took off and got more drinks from the liquor store....cranked up the stereo and had a private party.

the boys were pimping

me, sooooooo hammered taking picture with mr Brain

let me tell u the story of brain, he was the tiny mice that was bought from pet store to feed Nate's python when he was away. After swinging brain with a pillow case, and throw him in the snake tank, Fluffy (the python) just wont touch him....James adopted him because there is something special about this survivor , who managed to live in the same tank with a hungry python for 7 days......now brain got a wife name Bella who just recently gave birth to 11 babies.

job hunting status - the question i had been avoiding

last week, my boss asked me a very good question "Do you have preference in hw development over hw test?"

three months ago, i would have said yes - coz i enjoyed sw test sooo much.

It actually gave me the satisfaction after each test - that i ve learned and gained.

but most of the test cycles im doing right now, just like boom boom boom, get things done, follow the procedure without knowing whats happening behind the scene. Like today, i started a crest factor test for different orders of harmonic.

like " what the hell is crest factor??!!!"

honestly i could ve easily finished doing the test and still not knowing what it is if i dont do research on it.

project deadline is two weeks away, and there is absolutely no time for research- hey im not complaining that i have too much work. i enjoy the fast pace. yes it can be stressful but i chose to look at it as knocking one down after another like swinging the baseball bat with my fullest strength. Come my way and I can knock you down!

but my point is, is this what i wanna do as my career? the boss raised and force me to really think about my passion. the question that I have been avoiding.

I cant give him an answer coz i had never have any experience in design besides small school projects. How would I know which one do I prefer?

after thinking about this for a week, it is still inconclusive - simply because I had never worked in development, i could see test could be pretty boring after doing the same old things over and over again. arg I dunno....

he just told me there are 80 applicants are competing with me - I had just applied a new position, competing with the shortlisted candidates? i mean there are two piles of resume - with and without experience.

i am not getting a good vibe out of this. But im try as hard as I could to keep my spirit up and be positive.


wish me luck~

on August 10th

Thats right, it was Pooky's birthday -

I wanted to bake him a cake on his 1st birthday, but had absolutely no time because my last final exam didnt finished till 10 at night, and i was busy the whole night packing coz im leaving for malaysia right the next morning.

So this year, i made it up to him - this is the first successful cake i bake too! (i suck at baking)

Peanut butter carrot cake ~

Eyes on cake.........

darling put alot of effort into our brand new baby lawn, and see the brown spot in the middle? that was trashed by all the doggies wrestling because the grass is still too fragile.

and that is skylotte - if you remember this post months ago, she is now fully recovered!

Kenny brought to my attention that he had been smiling at the end of the day - and is TRUE! he was really really happy - I think, I THINK, that is because darling bought him lots of treats in the afternoon + he had few doggies friends and played the whole evening + then followed by a bbq medium raw steak all by him self + Last but not least, his peanut butter carrot cake.

see how much they enjoy it, only we tot ching finished her cake in seconds and when i replayed the video, i noticed skylotte finished two cakes and ching didnt get any!! only the crumbs! i gotto bring her some the next time....


he did feel special on his birthday, i know i know, u must think im crazy coz he's just a dog right? but hey! he is more than a dog to us, he's just like our child.

sweet 16 - long long time ago...

Last weekend, M has couple of friends visiting from vancouver, one of them is this sweet 16 years old girl. She reminded darling of me when I was 16.

I sat back sipping on my beer - thinking , omg, that was me 10 years ago. Im old!

it was a fun night, we drank, we danced, we had chips and pizza. but i was a tiny bit depress.

what had i achieved the passed 10 years? what had i learnt? and how much wiser hv I gotten?

oh man, i need more time to make that list.

or perhaps I dont want to...

I sure miss 16, particularly high school, my good friends, puppy love....

Do you remember your 16?

dont under estimate the power of stress

work has been busy - is just so many tasks to be done at one time..

There was this guy at work, who is like a total workaholic. he doesnt joke, he had lunch in his office while working. He has no patient for questions or what-so-ever.

I was told - he wasnt like that few years ago. He was a really nice guy - not as cold as now.
He joked, outgoing, definitely social more than now so.

see what stress could do to you? In my mind, i feel sorry for him, and i really wonder if he realized that he is now a total different person compared to 4 years back.

When you get heavier work load, bigger responsibilities, you will be all committed n give everything you have. moved like 5 mins walk from the company, probably work from home too.....

sigh, I told myself I will never be like that, but deep deep down inside, i am scare

things are gonna be better!!

Its been a hectic, hectic week, or should I say weeks





busy busy with work......I know this entry is coming when i complained about how bored I was at work.





actually is more than just work load. Work term is coming to the end and for the longest time, i was really worried about: "whats next?"





on top of that dealing with the dresses. GOSH!





felt like i was taken for a kiddy train ride.....

into the tunnel

over the bridge

But then i thought again, all these are suppose to be a beautiful experience.

then this hit me - the most important thing is - we are gonna celebrate our love, we gonna make it official. It is stressful but I still want to enjoy every single of this experience.

the most MOst important thing is, I am the luckiest woman in the world,

I probably havent said this enough.......

I love you darling, sooo sooo much!

my heart crashed. HARD!

Received my dresses yesterday, As I was driving home from the post office, I took them out of the package and they were resting on the passenger seat in a see through garment bag.

My heart kept pumping, but shoot! i m suppose to meet up with bunch of friends for tennis in 5 mins, cant possible go home and try them on.

So we had a good tennis game.

First thing i did when I arrived home - i threw the dress on me without even bother to shower first.


First dress - is not the right fit, need alteration, I can deal with that.

second dress - not even the right style. I want the slim line fitting, kinda like mermaid, but i got an A line instead.

WHAT A BIG DIFFERENCE!

That night, I lost sleep. It surprised and scared me how big this disappointment is.

another self realization

is another unproductive day.. But at the end of the day, I got most of my test and equipments working! so YAY! hopefully by the end of this week , i will get 3 test cycles out of the way.

U know I was told that I seem not passionate about my job, I showed no interest in experimenting or finding out when a tool / equipment is not working.

My theory was : if it takes 5 minutes for you to explain to me, and 1 hour for me to play around with it and unsure about the results. Why dont I go ahead and ask , in that case we will save time and money.

turned out I realized my theory is only right when time is limited when deadline is very close by. It might waste 55 minutes to get it working but eventually, I will gain more knowledge and the most important thing is brush up my troubleshooting skill.

Now that is the KEY! that is the passion we are looking for...

and he is right, by experimenting more, I found my job is more and more interesting, well at times the frustration really gets on my nerve, but when you get it right, that sense of achievement is so satisfying...

I need to re-find that passion. The reason why I picked up electrical engineering at the first place.

I dont wanna be one of those who work just to pay rent...

Whale watching trip

Weekend was GREAT!

CH visited from Vancouver and I had this opportunity to take him out the boat - well im not the captain, we ride with "Prince of whale"

thats right baby! we went whale watching, the last time i went was 4 or 5 years ago? Saw whole bunch of orca (killer whales) , even some playful ones jumping around, ahh what a sight.....



Although this trip wasnt as satisfying as the last one - we only saw 1 humpback whale - but bare in mind, it is really to spot humpback around.

Interesting fact : " do you know humpback whale is the creature on earth that make the loudest noise?"

we didnt get the chance to ride in a zodiac, coz they were all pretty full

we rode in a bigger boat with washrooms and snack bar on board :)

Here are few out of hundreds of shot-n-missed photos we took on that day.

his giant mouth

Thanks to Prince of whale's professional photographer with this super zoom lance camera, I am able to publish some of the shots as below:

if any one interested, they constantly update their blog with amazing shots and videos.

oh is friday for god sake!

Once again, is 6.30pm on a Friday evening, is bright n sunny outside and Im still stuck at work.

this is the 4th or 5th Friday that I ve been pulling 9 hours. I know it is extremely normal or even a joke in Malaysia. Lets look at Karen for instant, when she was at her old company, she got home 10pm at night few times a week. But, but the thing is, I THINK, im the only one left in the office.

See some of these tests, nono MOST of these test require days or even a week to run by automation tools, so we must make use of the weekend to finish up as much as I could, there are 5 carts in the lab and im on 3 of them with total of 13 meters to be tested. I dont mind setting everything up at all but the thing that frustrated me the most is when the equipment wont work with me...

I might have to activate the security alarm system before I go... What was I thinking biking in on Friday? knowing the outcome - im gonna be drained at the end of the day.


Thank god I got a caring husband, just that solid "OK" when i whined on the phone "can you pls come pick me up? im too tired to bike"

Will keep my bike in the building for the weekend.

dear all equipments in the lab, please work with me, so i could actually go home ...

alright meters should finished calibrating right now. at least pls do.... work with me!!

what a chillaxing night.

ahh, is nice to finally have the time and mood to sit down and start noting something down.

is midnight and we just came back from this fun, awesome ska festival!

I KNOW, like what the hell is ska right? turned out, i love the music! is kinda hard to describe but is definitely up beat and chillaxing at the same time.

wait actually the concerts we went to was more like reggae music, looking at peace lovers around, and tonight is the first night i ve seen so many Jamaicans in town! with their dread locks and happy-go-lucky easy going vibes , it was nice!

the part that I enjoyed the most is, some of my colleagues came out too, and we finally get to do something different and I see more fun side of them! besides from office fun and sports fun of coz. I can see myself being close friends with them.

A was going to meet up with this bike man with his hybrid bikes for sale - she is interested of getting one and Im not too happy with my mountain bike either, so I decided to tag along..... The bike that I really like worth $140 bucks, im guessing is about 7 or 8 years old? but he turned it to a really good bike. smooth gear changing, brand new brakes and tires.

The thing is, i dont exactly have the budget to get a new bike, and hunching on my old mountain bike for an hour ride is starting to kill my back. So I proposed to trade in my old one. and It worked out perfect! of coz i had to top up some money.

so, yay! i cant wait to try out my new-used bike tomorrow :)

alright is getting late, bed time.. tomorrow is friday!

Habitat

So last weekend I participated in another "Charity" event - Habitat for humanity

Schneider is one of the sponsors, it works this way

This foundation is helping family with kids that arent qualified to get mortgage from the bank because of their low incomes and lack of down payment.

When I first arrived at the site - I was amazed and felt kinda cheated - i mean look at

THIS!

Isnt this too beautiful for charity and luxury for charity!?

anyway the explanation was: the land was donated located in this nice housing area, so they have to match the rest of the houses, cant just build a small stinky house. By the way this is a duplex, so we are helping two families.

Thanks Jim for taking all these beautiful photos.

So it felt like 30 degrees out there, hot hot weather...

we have :

the Carpenters

Then landscapers

The lumbers

and The painter

I think the crew built the fence on one side, level down the front yard and back yard, and put the stepping stones along the side yard.

quite a big achievement. BUt, but, but... I WANT THAT HOUSE!

bring them on! I will do better next time

had a bad day at work, took me quite a while to figure out the comm automation tool, lotsa roak blocks, but hey I learned more things ")

One issue that I been really trying to work on - my confidence level, i think it had gotten worse since I am the "foreigner" of this land running by the community who used to be the foreigner many many years ago.

Anyway - it was brought to my attention again today, I need to booze it, cant get to get intimated even though i was so sure about my work. Once that question with higher level of tone "ARE YOU SURE!?" , i dunno maybe im new in the team.

I am not exactly getting treated with the "right tone" by certain ppl, but like Godfather said " it is strictly business". This is another good chance to also show my professionalism.

I was told there will be a position available soon - "please apply"

I will - this job is very challenging, my technical skill, my troubleshooting skill which is very very limited as well as my people skill.

Is not necessarily easy , it is another challenge , I believe I will gain alot from this challenging experience.

Asshole of the year

I ve been short tempered lately, things that i usually bite my teeth and let go tend to piss me off twice as much!

i just had a big fight with this stranger man in the field near my house, he is the first stranger i ever yelled yet, i mean from the top of my lung, I mean he freakin kicked my dog coz pooky was chasing after his kite? Is not only that, his tone from the very beginning was very very rude,

"your dog doesnt come back when you called"

"you will have to keep your dog in the vehicle, and keep your dogs away from me"

"if he comes near me again, im gonnna F***** kick him"

and of coz pooky continued to chase after his kite and he kicked him...kicked a small dog infront of his two daughters and me, I really feel like whacking him with a baseball bat.

what kinda asshole is that!?

"what a great father you have! " thats all I kept yelling back at is daughters.

I seriously dunno what else can I do... deep deep down inside, I feel like beating him till death with his blood splashes across the football field. but obviously that is not the solution - not coz i have mercy towards this kinda asshole, is because that will got me into trouble. (and lets not also forget the fact tat he is twice my size)

Came home, not having to bitch about it happily and seems like crying out loud doesnt make me feel any better.

ohhh noooo , not another one!

Im sure alot of you had experience this and complaint about this before - but but MY C drive got wipped out! completely clean right now, my pictures, i dont care bout musics, we can download that again but but ALL MY PICTURES!!

maybe i saw that coming therefore im still keeping my convo pictures in the memory card.

Think i might had downloaded some corrupted files during the process of downloading all the hk series - on the first beat (thanks to veoh) - terpaksa upgrade my pc to Vista and i was given a "disabled" choice to select keeping my files - whats the use of the choice given but it is not executable?! im gonna keep trying to track down at least my pictures - must be hidden somewhere....... (edit : found it! actually not only pictures the whole old window is still in the system....so, yay to me !)

Vista's layout is so cool though - the default color is very cyber feel - canggihnyaaaa....There's window defender which im guessing is some kinda new security system. besides that, there is also window sidebar , cardspace which im yet to figure out that they are....

well , to look at the bright side, at least it is not any hardware problem that i have to bring my computer to the repair-shop, or deal with futureshop again, especially i didnt buy their warranty plan.



is canada day today, theres gonna be 140 non-uniform / undercover police strolling around downtown - constantly pulling ppls over checking their bags ( for drugs and booze) , im still pretty beat up from last night and going out tonight for fireworks , downtown is gonna be pack with drunk n rowdy ppls....i guess that is the definition of long weekend you get to go out two nights in a roll? sighh i think im old, two nights in a roll is just too exhausting, cant really take it anymore....